I have let myself Go – So mad at myself

I have recently accepted that I have been letting myself go again. By no means am I anywhere near the 174 pounds that I started at but I have gained 10-15 ┬ápounds since January and it is all due to my terrible diet. I try and be good but am easily distracted by crap in the break-room, and garbage food brought into my house. It all started when my husband got sick around January and was riddled with extreme fatigue and pretty much gave up on his own workouts and was eating whatever he wanted. I just followed right along. It started with just my meals at home and eventually my sugar cravings came back and I started eating cheat meals throughout the day. I have slowly but surely crept up in weight and now all the jeans I have purchased at my glorious new weight are too tight or just simply do not fit. By no means am I huge or "fat", I am not saying that at all. I do however feel like complete crap. My energy is non existent and I am relying on Coffee to keep myself awake and I am at the point where I still do my workouts but they do not feel as effective and I absolutely dread them. I feel like I did before I ever started my fitness journey. What makes me most ashamed is that I am a Beachbody coach and I teach my challengers to do exactly what I am doing. I watch them get amazing transformations and all along, I am just going in the opposite direction. So I am including myself in this months challenge group and sharing weekly progress photos with my challengers. They will hold me accountable just like I hold them accountable. I vow today to STOP the nonsense and get back on track. I was so much happier when I was eating healthy. The odd part is that some people told me I was too skinny at 135 but you know what, I don't care. Not everybody felt that way and I felt absolutely awesome. At my current weight, 150 (ugh), and state of health, I feel like a beached whale. And this is not what I think I look like, it is how my body feels. I ache to move, cannot move fast, and feel physically heavy. Like lifting my legs to kick is a huge task. So I will disregard the "TOO SKINNY" comments and get my body back to when it was feeling good. Because right now I absolutely do not feel good. I am unhappy in my skin and quite simply feel miserable. I am determined to get the good feeling back and the energy I had only 6 months ago. I have done it once and will do it again. Here goes nothing. And here are my starting pics for accountability. I am doing the workout PiYo and that paired with my Shakeology and clean eating will get me healthy again. Wish me luck. As anyone who has done a clean eating workout routine knows, it is not easy to change your lifestyle but tremendously rewarding.  

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