My Good Boy Oliver "Ollie"3 days before my 30th birthday I had to put down my precious dog Oliver after fighting pancreatitis for two weeks. He had been to many doctors trying to find out what was wrong with him as he had a lot of medical issues. He was diagnosed with epilepsy at 2 years old and was put on several seizure medications to try and keep the occurrence of his seizures to a minimum. That was pretty well controlled. Then he started getting very over weight from the seizure medications and was developing terrible rashes all over his belly. He also had hip dysplacia and two torn ACLs. It seemed as though the medical issues would not stop for my poor baby. I just kept spending small fortunes at the vet. I cherished him so much that it really was not an option. Well his last illness, pancreatitis, was the one that I could not overcome no matter how much money I spent. It cost me $15,000 for the two weeks he was in the hospital and I still lost him. This is one of the last pictures I took with him while visiting him at the hospital. I was an emotional disaster losing him and my husband got me another puppy 3 days later on my birthday which I still have and love but the new puppy, Deuce, is no replacement for my Oliver. I am really struggling to let go. He died September 2nd 2013 and I still cry when I think about him. I am working now with a therapist and she has me writing in a Grief Journal. I have been dreading it because it is hard enough to think about him, let alone write in great length about my feelings about him.I just did my first few entries and totally lost it. And yet I do feel a little better. I started off pretty bad but seem to feel better as I continue. I am done writing for today but am hopeful that this helps me to let go of the pain. I don't want to let go of the memories of my good boy, just the pain of losing him. I hope putting my thoughts on paper and finally opening up about my grief helps me. I have kept the pain inside because I feel almost embarrassed that I am so upset over the loss of my dog. But I cannot help that I loved him so much. I feel like I lost a child. I don't have children so I cannot compare that love but I am incredibly broken. Perhaps people will find me ridiculous but I am just trying to feel better.